Week 16 — Here’s why I try new things.

Why do we get so sad or upset when we try something and don’t like it? It happens when your dream job doesn’t seem so dreamy anymore, or your crush becomes your boo, and you are not feeling it anymore. ‘Is this it?’ we stop to ask ourselves. ‘It is.’ The universe taunts.

Eleanor Roosevelt’s Quote: Do one thing every day that scares you. Ebele’s quote: Do one crazy thing (that’s miles outside your comfort zone) once a year. I’m talking batshit crazy.

As a hyper-aware and self-aware person, many new experiences, especially meeting new people, are tricky for me. I tend to understand and pick up people’s auras from our first interaction(s). It is good because it helps me determine how exposing myself to them will disrupt my inner peace. Anon, inner peace is paramount.

However, I have often found out that every time I try something or meet someone I initially felt adverse toward, I always feel regret, anger, sadness, and many other emotions I can’t remember right now. I often ask myself why I was silly and hadn’t just listened to my instincts when she said ‘no’ in the first place.

I think of the paragraph above at least once a week or every two weeks, but then the voices in my head come up with a counter-argument — you’d never know if you never tried. For example, I know I’m not too fond of sushi, and I would rather pick 50kg of beans than hang out with some people. I know because I repeatedly tried (not sushi, I only needed one try for that), and it didn’t end well.

I appreciate kings and queens who engage in process elimination, especially through introspection. I have also often talked about focusing on the good, and this is one of many ways to practice that.

So what do you do when you first start feeling anger towards yourself for not listening to your instincts? There are one pre- and three post-steps that I have found helpful.

1. Let’s assume I am meeting someone; I try my hardest not to think of them from the lens of any prior prejudice. Instead, I want to genuinely try as hard as I can to meet people without bias (if it’s the first time I am meeting them) or on a new slate or page if it’s not the first time.
2. When I meet them, I try to understand what about them upsets me. Is it the things they talk about? or how they treat people? Or the fact that they cannot distinguish between when whispers are necessary? Knowing this helps you understand your next move and helps you see if they have genuinely made an effort since the last time you saw them.
3. Understand whether — i) reducing communication, such as by reducing the number of words you speak (at that interaction and after that), OR ii)deciding never to meet with them again OR iii)*insert a non-violent coping mechanism* that works best for you.
4. Initialize the coping mechanism identified from points 3 and 2 above. Then, continue looping until you find absolute balance and perfect self peace again.

Of course, sometimes we try, and we fail. That is because we are human. But always remember that we find out what does not work for us by trying new things, and it allows us to make room for things that do work for us.