Week 21— Let me introduce you to my friend, patience.

One essential game-changer for me is understanding Patience. I think it is a character I picked up when I read a lot of Jose Maria’s books. It’s one of life’s lessons that I continue to hold dear.

Image by mygradschoolbud

If I want something and I’m confident it’s the right thing for me, I approach it patiently. Patience lets you;

  1. Give yourself time and space to grow.
  2. Understand that you might have done your best and now have to let the universe sort out the rest.
  3. Realize that this one, in this form, is not for you.
  4. Have the strength to move on.

On point 1, you’ve tried something, maybe multiple times, and it keeps failing. I believe patience makes you transcend from feeling terrible to asking yourself why things didn’t work. Why did it flop the first time? What can I do to make it different next time?

But some days, we also do our best, and things still suck. This happened to me after I finished from Nsk and the G.town. It feels like you’re doing everything you’re genuinely supposed to do, and nothing is working. Our career advisor in my grad school program told me that sometimes you have to keep showing up until you’re in the right place at the right time. One day, you’ll be in the same room with someone who needs your skills, and they will ask you to come to join them. Whatever it is, once you’ve done your best, sometimes it is only a matter of time, and you need the patience to get through the waiting period.

One of the most challenging things in life is discovering that things are not for you. This point is where the need to be patient enough to start afresh comes in. Ok, so you wasted time, the money, the effort, and nights of crying trying so hard to get something, but it doesn’t work, then what? I believe it’s a combination of patience and self-forgiveness, and understanding. It’s in knowing that you showed up as best as you could for yourself, but that slot was not for you.

Moving on is another tricky thing. For many people, the most challenging part of moving on has to deal with people who want to find out tea about something you did that was unsuccessful. Think about all the crazy things you’ve done since you were 10 or 15. The phases you thought you’d never survive, the things you thought people would talk about forever. Or don’t even think about it. Instead, focus on you, on the understanding that you are the most important character in your journey, and your life is way more than a single failure.

Finally, one thing that has helped me become more patient is that I understand that there are so many aspects of my life. I have so many interests. Some of them I know already, some I am yet to discover. I can never discover new parts of myself if I keep holding on or bringing myself down about things from the past that I have no control over. Remember to be kind to yourself and to approach yourself with kindness. Also, remember to approach others with the same grace and compassion you’d like to be shown.

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ebelechukwu monye

ebelechukwu monye

Oliver De Coque’s Identity is a song about me | Visual storyteller and talker @mygradschoolbud | I write for younger Ebele and everyone like her.